JOKE – Camels

CAMELS

To lighten up the proceedings in Me Newsy- Letters here are my thoughts that came to me while reading this in the Yahoo News on Wednesday 11.10.2006:

The Headline says:

“WHY DID THE ANCIENT GIANT CAMELS DIE OFF?”

Me says:

THEY JUST DIDN’T GIVE A HUMP ABOUT IT!!

Here is the article that this headline is referring to at the time in the USA Today online and here is a taste of the same:

“The animal, branded the “Syrian Camel” by its Swiss and Syrian discoverers, stood between three and four yards high — about twice the size of latter-day camels and the height at the shoulder of many African elephants.

“The camel is a dromedary but extremely big and extremely tall — about double the size of a modern day camel,” said Jean-Marie Le Tensorer, who led the Swiss side of the team….”

WHAT WOULD YOUR REPLY BE?

Tis for now. Rii xx

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Jerusalem – Living History

Courtyard in the Old City

“Ten measures of beauty descended to the world, nine were taken by Jerusalem.”
(Talmud: Kiddushin 49b)

The buildings in Jerusalem are built of a special stone called the Jerusalem Stone which at dusk and at dawn glistens like gold in the rising or the setting sun making it all, as in everything,  look stunningly beautiful. I have written in my earlier entries on Jerusalem about ‘Eating Out‘, ‘Life & Living‘ and ‘City of Gold‘ also on Israel itself in this entry. The Jaffa Gate became my ‘home’ gate into and out of the Old City Here is a collection of maps of the 1860’s by Charles Wilson and by others, also models by Conrad Schick  – he was a very famous architect – and others.

The incidents of the ‘Camels’ and the ‘Baileys’ and so did ‘Hi Handsome!‘ – all these happened at this time while in there! Also, the absolutely, fabulously, gorgeous treatments fit for Cleopatra and The Queen Esther that I wrote to you about in The Dead Sea Spa and in the ‘Alien Corn in an Alien Land ‘entries a couple moths ago took place during these years. I went again there – I had been in Israel in the 70’s – in 2002 when the terrorist attacks were at their most frequent and something like 100-200+ attempts were daily in just Jerusalem. In this neighbourhood there was the police station for the old city as well; actually, right next door on the other side. Any time we heard the sirens go of more than two-three police cars we knew what the story was. Anyway, we could feel the bombs as the whole city felt like it went into a spasm. There was a mosque right besides as well, and the rantings would go vile every time an attack would be coming and it became a sure sign of that what was to be…

Talk about living at the knife’s edge! The place where I lived and worked was in the complex that is today’s photograph of the courtyard in the Old City right at the Jaffa Gate that I mentioned earlier on in this entry. I worked there as a volunteer guide – though the job involved a multitude* of other related and non-related aspects to it – and lived for quite a while in this place. People from all the corners of the world would come over and we – I was the only female among the six** other ones there who would give guided tours explaining the history of the land, of Jerusalem and of the premises in various languages. This very job is The One where all of me: languages, love of history and the current affairs, personality, skills and know-how just came together in a wonderful mix thriving to the hilt! I absolutely loved it.

Do you spot the broken pillars in front of the building in the picture taken by me? They are 2000+ years old as they date from the time of Herod the Great whose palace was gigantic and covered the area of this complex where I lived. It was fascinating to think and ponder that here Herod and all his doings of that era had taken place. Of course, the history goes much further to King David and beyond as he captured the ‘city’ – that was not that large in size at the time.  The complex where I was is also situated opposite The Citadel, known as well as the Tower of David, even though it has nothing to do with King David at all. The Tower’s base – that is in nearly always the very first thing of the scenes of Jerusalem that the people in other countries recognize of Jerusalem – is one of the towers that the Romans left of the building that was the Palace of the King Herod when they utterly  flattened out the whole city in 70 CE.

Tis for now, yet again.  Riihele xx.

* As an example, the boss, an Australian, would suddenly ‘throw’ in the midst of some other urgent things: How is your German? I, thinking that it’d be something simple, answer him, ‘Okay’ and then he comes with a book from the 1860’s and wants to get the exact translation  of a particular passage into English on the very complex legal text!
‘Vielen Dank’, says me and tucks into work.  No dictionary at first in hand but found later – phew – asking him ‘when’ does he need the translation, the boss, ‘ tonight as I am lecturing to the  Germans about the history of a certain place the text is relating to et cetera.’

** We were an international blend of many nationalities in the complex and in the museum part, in particular. Most of the other guides had or were studying history in the university in Jerusalem  and also had done the very complicated tour guide exams. When I started to help them out, I asked where are the tools to the trade – material, books, notes as in all that is needed to get into the brains in order to give it further in the guiding – I had to learn massive amounts in the shortest possible time span! IT WAS GREAT FUN but immensely challenging. Really.

Incidents and Such Like – Camels

Camel

You know that when a woman gets of a certain age – huh? – well, anything over the age of 21 – she very much appreciates being complemented on her being. I was on a quick tour of Israel there a few years ago, the year before I filled ‘even numbers’ that this incident took place. I went/lived there in the years when the Intifada was at its worst and the most dangerous.

Anyway, this is what happened:

It was hot in the extreme and I had drank gallons and as we were returning back to the Old City of Jerusalem to the hotel where we were staying when just outside the Jaffa Gate came this most insistent ‘tour guide’ -wanna be starting to offer his expertise in taking us – against a hefty pay, though that wasn’t mentioned – for a tour around the streets of the city.

The man kept on and on yakking and doing his spiel not listening at all to the polite but firm

‘No, Thank You’.

So I went right to his face and said in English with glaring eyes and through the gritted teeth :

“Which part of the ‘no’ do you not understand?”

Then I just turned around on my heels and went off to do a dash of a hundred yard sprint into our hotel already in view.

My friend, Joan, was there with the man still standing as I left .

There I am doing the record breaking run when I hear from behind me the two of them roaring laughing – thinking, so I am – such ‘bitches’.

Then a few minutes later Joan barges into the coffee shop of the hotel and says:

“Guess, what he said?”

“Beats me”, I said. Thinking it would be something really mean and horrid.

“He said:

“Wow, I would give a million camels for her as she is in such a good condition!!”

I thought that it sounded really great, but as I am not accustomed to equating money and value with camels, I asked one of my local Arabic friends what could it possibly mean.

Andre was shaking his head in amazement and saying –

‘If you have one camel, you are very rich.’

So easy maths: one camel x 1M camels. Hmm.. . It does sound a lot.

I was so very pleased, needless to say.

The last thing after all this was that she asked me: “Why did you leave?”
So I explained to her and she understood, still roaring laughing at the man’s comment.

Tis for now. Riihele xx.

PS.
I told one of my Jewish friends what this man had ‘offered’ for me hand and his answer was:

” I will give for you one million and One camels!”

My own thinking is this that if I had sweetly smiled at him with no gritted teeth and no clicked heels that his offer would have been at least 2 million camels!!
=)My Cheeky Grin